the special theory of the soul

The soul is the ether. The soul is lightest of all substances. It weighs nothing and has no effect on anything but time. Likewise, time is the only thing that affects the soul. This ethereal soul is “atomic familiarity” that exists and becomes “collective knowledge” because of the unique relationship that the soul has with time. Remember, all the matter in the universe is just cosmic debris floating through nothingness at every velocity. All that exists in the great nothing are atoms whizzing about reacting with other atoms. Some of the atoms repel each other. Some of the atoms attract each other. Some react violently when combined and some hardly react at all. Some of the atoms that combine together well and that aren’t exposed to any violent reactor atoms, will in time have a chance to become more complex molecules. Molecules that fair well by avoiding violent reactors in their existence have a chance to combine with more friendly molecules. If the molecules can avoid any violent reactors, they may eventually form an object that we can actually see with our eyes. The bigger it gets, the stronger its composition and hence the more resilient it becomes to violent reactors. It grows and grows and absorbs more matter… especially as it become massive enough to have its own gravity. Eventually it becomes a massive star that implodes on itself and the whole process occurs all over again from scratch.

The soul is not dragged along through time with these atoms that constitute one particular piece of matter, but rather forged entirely by the atomic memory of this collection of atoms that has existed for so long side-by-side. The most basic bit of universal knowledge is simply a complex molecule’s memory of which atoms react well with it and which ones reacts poorly. Thus, the base root of all thought is “self-preservation”. Self-preservation is the genesis of the soul. The soul is collective knowledge that is only affected by time and thus has the ability to change. The only concern of the soul at this lowest level is to stay in existence. However, the soul is an ego growing through time. It becomes more and more aware of itself the longer the idea of self-perseverance exists with the soul. The soul, on some level, lets the molecules collectively know that what they have formed together is special and worth preserving.

Some kinds of molecules are better developers of the soul. Biological matter, for instance, seems to be the best conductor of collective knowledge. That is not to say that other matter doesn’t have a soul; just perhaps one that is not quite as developed as those formed by biological matter. Biological matter is different than most matter. It doesn’t look to preserve itself by just avoiding violent reactors, but rather to actively look for friendly reactors. And biological matter has other ways of collecting self-preservation knowledge than just getting bigger. It learns how to divide itself and reproduce duplicates of itself to send out and collect more knowledge. The more knowledge it collects, the more knowledgeable the soul becomes. Eventually biology chooses to create internal systems for self-preservation, allocating some matter to sense and protect against violent reactors. At the same time, biological matter creates system to sustain the self by growing, but also dividing into a new self. This division brings up the ideas of reproduction, which is, at its core, a defense mechanism developed to protect the fragile state of biological matter from the effect of time. While biological matter is an excellent conductor of the soul, it is very susceptible to aging. Reproduction combats this. Each successive generation sprouted forth carries with it the expanding collective knowledge of its predecessor in a newborn body. It starts its term of existence in the universe, collects self-preservation knowledge and passes it on to its progeny before it decays.

Finally, the soul and ego becomes so great within a biological collection of matter that certain systems are created just for the garnering of self-preservation knowledge. The basic brain is formed by an impression created by the wake of knowledge collected through time by the biological molecules forming it. That’s why self-preservation is at the core of our psychological ego. The brain knows that it exists and, that knowledge makes the brain aware that it is special. The brain is hard-wired to protect its own uniqueness. However, while the brain is self-aware on some level and can collect knowledge, it is composed of biological matter and eventually decays and dies. Hopefully, before it decays it does reproduce and pass of the collective knowledge of the biological atoms that formed that brain and hence, pass on the soul.

Over time, the soul advances and thus advances biology in the wake of its self-preservation knowledge. More complex biological beings come into existence until at some point the soul develops the first human mind that is not only self-aware, but also able to cross-over the barrier and consider the existence of one's soul. This extreme level of ego makes us very prideful of thus more actively concerned about the continuation of our soul's existence even after our body decays.

Fret not. For as long as there is biological matter to transmute our souls, we are eternal.

an observation

You know what you almost never see? A bassoon player. You ever been on the subway with a guy holding a bassoon case? How can you be sure? Do you even know what a bassoon case looks like?

influence

Here’s how it went in my household. God to Barbara Walters to Mom to me. If 20/20 had a report that Apple Juice caused cancer - trust me - I would have died of dehydration at an early age.

your everyday insanity

My basic feeling is that inside we’re all crazy. At least, deep down, we all believe ourselves to be. We have strange thoughts in our heads all the time that say, “You can’t go to sleep with the DVD player on.” So you drag miserable self out from under the comforter and trek into the living room, just to shut the damn thing off. Now that’s insanity. And just to make matter worse, you stub your toe on the door-jam on your way back to bed and your nervous habit of nail-biting kicks in.

This is irrational behavior. (At least the getting-out-of-bed-just-to-shut-off-the-VCR bit. The stubbed toe is just dumb luck.) And you look around on the streets at the other drivers on their way to work and you ask yourself, “Can everybody else sleep knowing that they left their DVD on? Am I the only lunatic in the world.”

Sure, there’s the Squeegee Guy at the filling station who doubles his window wash spray-bottle as a spritzer of breath freshener. Now that guy’s an animal; hardly any rational thought at all. He’s operating on primitive instinct… basic survival skills. But you’re a man of the 21st Century; the archetype of modernity. You have a bachelor’s degree, a hybrid car, and an iPod. You are a rational thinker and apparently a normal, upright citizen and consumer in this store we call Earth. You can nod at the other pumpers with an air of superiority as they gas up their guzzling SUVs. You laugh and are profoundly satisfied when Squeegee Guy chooses the guy who drove up alone in a massive H2. “God, I love Karma,” you think, then consider that maybe you’re not crazy. You’re just the only one who gets it. The pump spits out your Visa receipt and you eye everyone. They’re all suspect, so you tear the sales slip into shreds and sprinkle it into not one, but two garbage bins. You even drop bits into hanging squeegee bucket and decide it best to keep a couple pieces in your pocket. The gas attendant looks at you as if you must be crazy. Has Habib figured you out? Has this grease monkey been the first to see your true self?

“Identity theft,” you remark coolly, then shuffle back into your car. You stub your toe on your tire, try to play it off like you meant it, and retreat into the safety of your auto, where your XM radio broadcasts whatever world music you’re into this week. French-Madagascar tribal beat fusion. You drive to work, chewing your nails up the whole way.

Identity theft, it should be noted, is the least of your worries. You’re so tweaked, you don’t even know who you are at this point. So if someone stole that, then at least perhaps you might be able to recognize the part of you that would be missing. Your identity is like a blindfold – you can’t see it until you remove it. Of course, other people can see it just fine. We all have the ability to see it in each other… but none of us do. That’s because we all hide ourselves – our true selves – from one another. We put up barriers and walls and defense mechanisms that are poised to launch full-guns-blazing if someone dares to peek under our skins.

With one exception, this is true… sort of. For those of us who are fortunate enough to pick a mate – whether for a short time or a lifetime – can experience some level of trust and comfortableness. We are inclined to lower our defenses. And it’s not so much that we let our mates in as much as we let ourselves out – our true selves. I think on the microcosmic level, this is Friendship but on the grand scale this is Love. Love is letting someone else see more closely who you are and – with all due respect – caring enough to reciprocate the gesture of kinship.

Sure, there still are the peccadilloes that we keep to ourselves. These are the things that we even hide from the ones we love most; the things too perverse to explain…

It would just be too complicated to explain why it bothers me, but it just does. I can’t see it and it’s not making any noise at all. The blue and amber LCD display isn’t even emitting any light detectable from my bedroom. The electricity that it could be consuming is so minimal that it won’t even register in my monthly bill. But it’s on. I know it. I would have remembered shutting it off and I don’t. That’s it. This is crazy. I’m turning it off.

“@#$%! Door-jam!”

Look Who's Blogging

Here. I'll do it. I shall blog.
Now. I'm doing it. I am blogging.
There. I've done it. I have blogged.

Damn, it feels good to be momentarily in touch with youth culture today.

Now leave me the hell alone.